Ugh

[m_of_disguise]

I started writing this long post, venting about how weird things are and how unhappy I've been, but it felt so whiny and self-important that I just erased it. I just regret so many of my life decisions, and I'm not sure which direction to go right now. Half of me wants to pick up everything and start somewhere new, but I know that I can't actually do that right now. I just want to get away from my family and from Texas. I used to love it here so much that I couldn't fathom moving away, but they're putting up these ugly new subdivisions every day and the state is losing its charm more and more, and it's only going to get worse. M and I are actually seriously considering Connecticut right now, which I suppose will have to do since I can't convince him to move to Europe or Africa. I feel like I'm on the verge of having to make a lot of very big decisions, and it's exhausting and taxing and I don't want to thing about it but I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm drained.

I can't wait for this year to end.